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Thursday, January 17

seeing stars

OK, I've been a bit grumpy. It's the application blues. I have it every year. Plus, my studio is a disaster and I can't work up the motivation to go into the cold attic and clean up. Russ is away for a few days, and I am missing him. So, when I buckled up Quincy to take him for a walk, I was just hoping he would pee quick so I could get back in my big chair and continue to grumble and procrastinate.

I was not my best self this morning.

There was a soft snow in the air, barely there, tiny dots of white against a gray sky. Perfect back drop for my mood.

And then a flake landed on Quincy's shiny black coat. I don't know why I noticed such a thing, but I did. It was a perfect star. 6 or 8 points, it was too tiny to tell for sure. The center was lace. I could see the flake perfectly against the black and it stopped me cold. (no pun intended. maybe) I mean, you see those blown up photos of snowflakes all the time, but how often does one present itself to you in all it's miraculous perfection, just big enough for the naked eye to admire? Not one this tiny for sure. Life is truly magical, I thought. Just look at that. My cliche alert did not go off. It was just too perfect.

I reached into my pocket hoping to find my iPhone so I could take a picture. Of course not. I pondered whether I would be able to run in for my camera. I looked  back at the flake and it was evaporating. First the points, then the outside of the circle, then the lace. It melted in slow motion, leaving a soft white haze before it went away totally.

Well, so much for miracles, I grumbled to my whiny self, and I coaxed Q to hurry, promising cheese when we got back inside. A flake drifted by, landed on my lashes and I brushed it off. Then I looked down and saw that my coat had little flakes all over it. Star flakes. Perfect. Tiny. Lacy.

Look at me, all covered in stars, I thought. It was a gift I realized.  A bubble rose in my chest, pushing the grump out, letting the star gazer back in.

I can do this.

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