life events that rattle the earth beneath you. That takes time and thought and perspective. For a while it seemed too big of a job and blogging should not be a job.
I became a Grandmother in November. I'm not sure how to explain that feeling. It is one part "am I really this old???" and 99 parts "what a miracle".
My granddaughter, Emma Rachel (her middle name is my Mother's) was delivered early due to complications my brave and tough daughter-in-law suffered. My daughter-in-law has Cystic Fibrosis but has not allowed it to impact her life in any measurable way.
I admire and respect her and love her. Emma spent some scary weeks in the NICU, tubes everywhere, but she is home and gained 2 pounds in a month and is beautiful and what a miracle. I watch my son, besotted by this peanut of a child, gently tending her and it fills my heart.
On the art side, I had none of my usual Christmas shows for various reasons which impacted my Christmas shopping and will really hurt when I start sending out applications in a few weeks. I need to make some decisions about shows but I'm having trouble settling back into normal. My studio looks like a victim. It will take many hours of concentrated work to get it back to workable space. But I love this time of year. Out with the old, everything in order, clean brushes and new pots of glue. Beautiful. Promise.
I have been here in Grand Rapids staying with my son and his family for a couple of weeks. Lending a hand, tending to chores, providing moral support for Emma's first bath, first nail clipping. I helped pick out her first Christmas dress and went with the kids to help choose paint colors for the nursery. I'm not sure how much they actually need me, but it has been good to feel like they did. Emma's other grandparents will be here for Christmas, after which we will leave and they will stay for a few weeks. I may be back in February for a bit. It is a sea change from the easy, cozy life Russell and I have been living, but it is good for all of us, I think.
And so it goes. Life and all its surprises.
I missed writing my blog, it seems. I'm going to try to get back in its good graces.
To write of simple things, to make yourself really see them is like an act of grace. I haven't just missed writing the blog, I've missed what the act of writing it gave me.