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Monday, July 12


I think that Russ and I both try to accept the reality of our kids making lives away from us. We make a yearly pilgrimage to the West coast and sometimes they come to us. But, in reality, we probably spend a total of 3 weeks or so in the company of our children every year.

We talk about moving, we talk about being bi-coastal, we vow to visit more often, we talk and talk about it. We miss our kids and emails and facebook and phone calls just don't do it.

This week we were blessed with kids. Russ' youngest, Max, is here for 2 weeks and Billy is in Rochester with his sweetheart, Leisha, as they get ready to begin their new lives in Ann Arbor, so we are able to hang out every few days.

Sunday was rich with family. We went to Taste of Buffalo with Billy and Leisha (Max went early so he wouldn't miss World Cup) and then we all went to Shakespeare in the Park.

I sat there with my sweetheart next to me, my son and Leisha behind me, Max one spot over, a friend of Max on a blanket at our feet and we shared cheese and bread dip and macaroons and Coronas. We joked and chatted, teased each other, laughed.

It is how life should be but isn't, it's how our family could be but won't. No matter what changes we make, our kids will still be in 3 different states, 4 different cities. I want to have a compound, like the Kennedys. A bunch of houses on a big piece of land where everyone could live together but apart, touch football on Fall afternoons, huge Christmas dinners with generations around the table, always there for each other in joy or pain, minutes away from a hug, grandchildren popping in with wildflowers. It brings tears to me to think of it.

Instead I will take comfort in how all the kids turned out great, their lives moving as they should. My Billy will be closer to home now than he has been in many years. That is one check in the plus column. I vow, as I always do, to visit the Oregon/Washington kids more often. We have a new grandchild to hold, but it will be September before we get there.

I watched the groups of people at Shakespeare last night as they walked toward the hill with chairs and picnic baskets. Many families. I listened to banter, complaints, laughter. Children on blankets, leaning against their parents' knees as they watched the show. Young Mother soothing a fussy baby, hoping to be able to stay until the end. 2 young girls defiantly spreading their blanket 3 spots away from the folks so they could feel grown up, crawling over to get food every 5 minutes. :)

Do they really get how blessed they are?

We'll focus on the sons this week, enjoy them, cherish the time spent together. Then we will look forward to September and our visit West. and that's how it will be, I guess, for always. Coming together, taking leave. Holding close, letting go.

Well, until we get that compound thing built.

1 comment:

Terry said...

My kids and grandkids being far away is something I remorserate over every single day- you have a wonderful way with words.. T